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Should You Pay For Drinks In Brazil?

I’m Going To Buy You A Drink

There were two foreign dudes I knew in Brazil who always had something funny to tell me about their interactions with Brazilian women.

Keith and Rohan.

Keith worked with computers and was from the American Midwest. He loved to spend time traveling after saving enough money.

He decided this time he was going to Brazil.

Against better judgement, he didn’t make the effort to learn Portuguese so he had a rough time with Brazilian women. He should have learned how to speak like a Brazilian with Semantica Portuguese’s Online Course.

Then you had Rohan.

Rohan was from another country and was able to get a special visa which allowed him to stay in Brazil as long as he wanted.

He spoke great Portuguese, but Rohan’s problem was self-confidence. He didn’t know how to talk to women well and he didn’t want to learn how to. He would find himself going to puteiros for intimacy.

Anyways, I was hanging out with Keith and Rohan one day when they told me about their latest outing. They went out to a club and tried to pick up some Brazilian girls.

Cool, I thought to myself. I love hearing about club stories. Perhaps I can pick up a few tips for myself.

However, I quickly realized this story would be of no use to me. To make a long story short:

  • Keith & Rohan got targeted by two women (possibly hookers)
  • Because of Keith’s poor Portuguese skills and Rohan’s lack of confidence, the two women convinced them to buy them drinks.
  • These weren’t just any drinks, they were very expensive ones.
  • Keith wasn’t able to explain that he didn’t want to buy the drinks. Rohan wanted the girls to stay with them and didn’t know how to say no, so he bought the drinks.
  • After getting what they wanted, one of the women managed to take Rohan’s necklace and he never got it back. The ladies left soon after.

That is not my type of party.


 

Why Do Men Buy Women Drinks In The Club

Chivalry isn’t dead.

I still see guys buying women drinks when I am out. It is still common.

You might be an older guy who is accustomed to buying ladies drinks. I understand that’s what you did back in the day.

But the dating world has changed significantly. Can you explain to a young man what is the purpose of buying a stranger a drink?

The only answer I can think of is: You find her physically attractive so you are rewarding her for it with a drink.

If I see a woman in the club without a drink in her hand I think:

  1. She doesn’t drink
  2. She’s waiting for a mark to buy her a drink

You are buying a female stranger a drink because she looks good. Am I right?

Now, if you just like buying drinks for people in the club that’s cool. When’s the last time you bought a man you didn’t know a shot?

Brazilian men don’t seem to buy drinks for random women that much in my experience. They realize a drink isn’t going to make or break their chances with a Brazilian woman. They understand the culture.


Being Aware Of Mutual Attraction

There are ways to find out if a Brazilian woman is open to talking to you in a club without buying a drink. In Brazil, a regular woman will not approach you. You have to approach her.

But first you need to look for a sign before you do.

A few signs can be:

  • The Entrance Line – A great way to not only warm up your Portuguese but to make friends if you are out solo. Sometimes you can find someone who speaks English in line and you can talk to him. Brazilian women will overhear and become intrigued. You are the guy whose different that night.
  • Eye Contact – The best sign. If a woman is giving you consistent eye contact, she is obviously open to conversing with you. Make a move after the second or third eye lock. If you stare too long, you will look creepy.
  • Mutual Friends/Circle – If you are at the club with friends and you meet a woman who knows them too, you can use that connection to get to know her better. No drink needed.
  • The Bar Wait – At the bar you can strike up small talk without looking like you are trying to spit game. Obviously, you and the woman are in the club but you both are at the bar paying for drinks; you can indirectly gauge her interest. She is interested if she makes good eye contact and stays there talking to you after she already has her drink.

If you meet a woman in any of these situations and she is feeling your vibe:

You do not have to buy her a drink if you don’t want to

A drink will not make her dislike you after you already have her undivided attention. If a Brazilian woman wants to get to know you more, a drink won’t make that feeling stronger.


Should You Pay For Drinks In Brazil?

And the finale, should you pay for drinks in Brazil?

Picture this.

It’s Saturday night. You are in Rio de Janeiro. You go to Lapa, the party section of the city. You got a nice buzz and you’re dressed to impress.

You walk into a club and inside, you see this beauty:

Uhh, can I buy you a drink PLEASE!?

 

Hold on my man.

Before you reach for your wallet and spend reais on this strange woman you just met, ask yourself why are you buying her a drink.

It’s all about your intention and inner motivation.

There’s not a universal answer for every “buy a drink in the club” situation. But there are general principles.

Reasons why you should pay for drinks in Brazil:

  • You are a drink buyer. You buy a drink for everyone in the club. Even the bartenders.
  • After talking and dancing for a while, you want to get another drink. Since she’s with you now, you ask her if she wants a drink too.
  • She bought you a drink and you thought it was a nice gesture so you buy drinks for the next round.

Reasons why you should not pay for drinks in Brazil:

  • Don’t pay for drinks in Brazil if you are only doing it because you are afraid women won’t talk to you if you don’t.
  • Don’t pay for drinks in Brazil if you really don’t want to.
  • Don’t pay for drinks in Brazil because Brazilian women really don’t care for drinks like American women. It’s not considered an “ice breaker” or a down payment on a date or future sex.
  • Don’t buy her a drink if she doesn’t show interest in you like strong eye contact, hand-holding, etc.
  • Don’t buy her a drink thinking it’s going to get her drunk and easy. Brazilian women are very aware of their alcoholic intake.

Summary

Men buy drinks in clubs and bars every night around the world. It’s a tradition passed on from father to son. Perhaps your own dad met your mother after buying her a drink.

Things have changed.

Buying a drink is not important anymore. A woman interested in you won’t even realize you didn’t offer her one. The real issue with paying for a drink in Brazil or any place for that matter is recognizing when you are just being used for one like my buddies Rohan and Keith.

Don’t get used.

For the complete guide to dating in Brazil, click here.

Does Your Afro-Brazilian Girlfriend Identify As Black?

“But we are all mixed here, Shad”

That’s what an Afro-Brazilian girl told me in São Paulo a couple of years ago. We were talking about race in Brazil; why I noticed more dark faces in the poorer areas and lighter faces in upscale neighborhoods.

Her response was there are poor whites and blacks who live together, so it’s really not a racial problem.

“We all live among each other”

That’s true. To an extent. Only in the poor areas will you see black and white Brazilians living together in significant numbers. But in the rich neighborhoods?

Rarely.


We Are All Mixed

You might bump into a black woman or two in America who claims to be mixed with Indian in the states, but in Brazil it’s on a whole other level.

You will meet a few women who will not accept you calling them negra or preta. They self-identify as mixed.

Biologically, people in Brazil really are a mixture of various things. For centuries, they have promoted the mixing of races.

Yet, despite the heavy mixing, there are still blacks and whites. There is a racial divide and it affects modern Brazilian society. And there are plenty of Afro-Brazilians who realize the inequality.


Black & Proud

Contrary to rumor, many Afro-Brazilians identify as black. Albeit on a smaller scale than the United States, there is a black movement in Brazil, particularly in São Paulo and Rio de Janeiro.

There were more slaves sent to Brazil than any other country in the Americas, so it’s logical for many Brazilians to identify with their African ancestry.

Before we get into why your Afro-Brazilian girlfriend might not identify as black, let’s look at a couple of reasons why she might.


  • Both Of Her Parents Are Preto (No Denial)

Guys ask me all the time what the racial make-up of Brazil is like. Are there a lot of black people? Will I fit in?

If you are a black man, whether light skin or dark, you will undoubtedly fall right in line into Brazilian society. Statistics aside (somehow only 8% of Brazilians are black), the majority of Brazilians are of color.

There are plenty of Afro-Brazilian parents, who are both black and their children are obviously black as well. Think of actress Cris Vianna or Olympic gymnast Daiane dos Santos. To deny their African ancestry would be absurd.

And even then, I have read Brazilian articles referring to Cris Vianna as a morena.

Why?

  • She’s Influenced By American Black Culture/Black Power Movement

You might be surprised by how many Brazilians are REALLY into American Black Culture. In a city like São Paulo, you will find a lot of Black American influenced attire, music and style.

One aspect of American Black Culture many Afro-Brazilian women like is the natural hair movement. If you go on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, you will see hashtags like #cacheadas, #cachos, #cabelonegro, #afrohair, #curls, etc. on many Afro-Brazilian pictures.

When you love the African texture of your hair, you usually love the color of your skin and being black too.

You can check out pictures of Afro-Brazilian women and their cacheadas on Rio In A Week’s Instagram page @rioinaweek.


Why Your Afro-Brazilian Girlfriend Does NOT Identify As Black

  • Everyone Tells Her She Isn’t Black

This is a common occurrence in Brazil according to many of my Afro-Brazilian lady friends. Many light-skinned Afro-Brazilian women are described as “mulata”, “parda” or “morena” instead of negra or preta.

I’ve been told this happens for a couple of reasons:

1. The person calling the woman this does not want to offend her. They think calling her “negra” or “preta” is offensive. Basically, those terms are seen as negative in the person’s mind.

2. If an Afro-Brazilian woman is viewed as very attractive, they might not be seen as “just black”. She may have cabelo fino (good hair) or nariz fino (thin nose). For example, actress Camila Pitanga identifies as black although her features are very European to most people. Is Camila Pitanga black to you?

 

Many people in Brazil only view people with very dark skin and stereotypical African features as negro. With this mentality and the way people treat others who are seen as black in Brazil, it’s not surprising meeting Afro-Brazilian women who self-identify as parda.

  • Racism Has Influenced Her

Just like the Black Power Movement can influence an Afro-Brazilian woman to gravitate towards self-identifying as black, racism can make her shun it. It can even make her shun other blacks.

One night in São Paulo, I went to a rock n roll club.

Don’t judge me.

brazilian slang

To make matters worse, I was rolling solo. So, I go inside and scan the atmosphere and to no surprise I was the only
black man in there. But it was alright, I kind of realized that while in line outside.

While I walked around trying to find a good spot, I noticed a black woman. She was on the light side, but black nonetheless.

Now common sense would tell you she probably wasn’t interested in black men; why else would she be in a rock n roll club? But I had to try anyways, she looked great.

So, I stepped to her. When I tell you how disgusted she looked when I approached her; it was like she just saw a ghost.

I’m not a runway model or anything, but I know I’m not ugly either. I couldn’t help but laugh instantly; it could have been the shock of getting rejected without even getting a chance to say a word. It could have been the look on her face as well. I never got that type of response ever.

I retreated back to the temporary friend I made while standing in the entrance line and licked my wounds. Later that night, I saw her dancing with a white dude.

Who knows why my attempt was rejected. I could have been too short. Maybe the white guy was her boyfriend. She could have just been harassed before and in a bad mood.

I’ll never know. And frankly, I don’t care.

But what I do know is some Afro-Brazilians, men and women, intentionally avoid other blacks because of racism in Brazil. They don’t identify as black and they surely don’t date black.

To read more on the racial dynamics of dating in Brazil, check out my post: The Different Shades Of Black In Brazil.


When you date in Brazil, you come across women from all walks of life. If you are like me and prefer Afro-Brazilian women, you will really experience different personalities and beliefs.

My most important advice is to date someone who is on the same page as you. I’ve found that race is a significant topic in dating; people usually date others with the same racial views.

In Brazil, you don’t have to settle. In 2016, you can find many Afro-Brazilian women proud of their roots.

What Race Is That Brazilian Girl? – A Man’s Guide To Racial Identity In Brazil

What Race Is That Brazilian Girl?

I’ve been thinking about breaking down racial classifications in Brazil, but it would be pretty boring if I explained it like a professor.

According to the Brazilian Census, these are the racial categories.

  • Branco which means white.
  • Pardo which means brown.
  • Negro which means black.
  • Amarelo which means yellow.
  • Indigenous which means native.

Then, I had a bright idea.

What if I went through the different racial categories by describing what a woman would most likely be identified as in Brazil.

To keep things simple, we are going to describe each Brazilian girl with one of these five terms:

  • Negra
  • Morena
  • Amarela
  • Parda
  • Branca

There are other terms like preta or mulata, but we will leave those out.

There will be some overlapping since a particular Brazilian girl could be described as negra, morena, parda and mulata. One could even be white and mixed depending on who is looking at her.

But I’m going to try to represent each woman with one term.

Let’s go.


Branca

You would think this would be the most straight forward racial group. A white girl should be easy to point out in Brazil right?

My first example is the beautiful actress Maria Flor. Catch her in one of my favorite movies, Forbidden To Forbid. Last time I checked, it was on Netflix.

This is an obvious white Brazilian girl although she probably has a black cousin or something.

But then, you may have a Brazilian girl like this who is what I like to say “off-white”.

 

To my eye, there is a difference between actress Nanda Costa, pictured above, and Maria Flor. Costa looks more ambiguous. I can’t see her being called strictly white in America. She has a Selena Gomez look to her. Is Selena seen as just white?

But I can see people calling her white in Brazil. Do you think she is white or mixed?


Amarela

This is an easy one. These are just Asian women. There is a big Japanese population in São Paulo, Brazil. They have a historic community downtown called Liberdade. I highly recommend checking it out.

This is a Brazilian woman with Asian ancestry.

brazilian girl


Negra

This is a confusing term for many people today. I know back in the day when Brazil was still a new country, a negro and negra were very easy to identify.

But today, with so much mixing and self-identification, you just don’t know what someone identifies with.

I’ve met the lightest, black Brazilians with straight hair who want you to call them negro. Then I meet a Brazilian with the same shade or even darker tell you they are moreno or pardo.

Let’s look at some pictures.

The beautiful actress Cris Vianna has been described as morena, mulata and negra from my research. In this guide, she represents negras.

brazilian girl

This woman is negra as well. Although I can see someone saying she is morena.

Pretty straight forward so far with negras right? But check out these Brazilian girls who can be called negra as well.

Actress Camila Pitanga doesn’t like when people question her blackness.

Actress Raquel Villar has been called black on this website. Check out my article about the most underrated Black Brazilian actresses. But still, she looks ambiguous compared to Cris Vianna. I classify her under Afro-Brazilian, so she is negra.


Parda & Morena

These two terms are the same thing. Someone who is mixed or seen as brown. You really never know who sees themselves as brown in Brazil.

I don’t even think Brazilians are 100% sure of what they think of themselves. I know this one Brazilian girl who flip-flops from being negra to morena to mulata.

I guess all the terms mean the same thing to her.

Perhaps, she feels negra more today than she will tomorrow. She might identify as black or mixed depending on the circumstances.

Self-identification is deeper than what I’m showing in this article. For a more serious look into race in Brazil, check out my article The Different Shades Of Black In Brazil.

Anyways, these are women I would look at in Brazil and say, “Yeah , she is mixed.”

Model Camila Alves is parda.

 

 

Brazilian women’s volleyball player Jaqueline Carvalho is parda as well.

Take note, these are Brazilian women who would never be called black in Brazil or America. They are undoubtedly viewed as mixed. There are plenty of Brazilian girls who could be parda in Brazil, but if you seen them in America, you just might think they are black.


Conclusion

The physical features of Brazilians are so diverse, it can be difficult to put someone in any category. I really believe the only opinion that matters is the person’s self-identification.

Race in Brazil will never be concrete and this article is my own biased perspective. You might look at these pictures and think “He’s wrong, she isn’t black”.

Well, what makes your opinion right?


What’s up man,

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