Dating Brazilian Women: The Ultimate Step by Step Guide

dating Brazilian women

A common question I get from guys who never been to Brazil is what is it like dating Brazilian women?

I mean, let’s not sugarcoat it; many men who are interested in Brazil are interested because of the WOMEN. Although it may be over-hyped now, Brazilian women are still widely known as great catches. They are seen as feminine, passionate, loyal, great listeners and loving.

Why are Brazilian women praised online and off?

What Is It Like Dating Brazilian Women?

First, Brazilian women are not a monolithic group. So my take on Brazilian women will contrast with another man’s.

A general description of the types of Brazilian women I usually date is:

Height: 5’0-5’6

Weight: 110-150lbs

Age: Between 20-25

Race: Usually African descent

City: Rio de Janeiro or São Paulo

Education Level : Graduated college, in college or college-bound

So, my opinion will most likely help men who are dating or will date women from this general background. Not to say that this post will not help others, but just to give a heads up in advance.

Cultural Differences

In the beginning of dating a Brazilian woman, there will be a lot of interesting and fun experiences. You’ll learn a lot of cultural differences between the both of you. A few examples:

Many Brazilian women are adamant about taking multiple showers a day, even if that particular day is not that hot to you compared to really hot Brazilian days. It’s habit for Brazilians to take showers as soon as they get home. It’s very hot and humid. I

n my experience, American women are less stubborn about this unless it’s obvious you need to get cleaned up.

Another cultural difference is the way couples spend time apart. Brazilian women take commitment very seriously compared to what you may be used to.

There is no more “ME” time like the way you were taught. I’m not saying you won’t be able to go out with the boys or check out a sports event with your girl, but it won’t be accepted as smoothly as it would be if you were dating another nationality.

One good example is when I wanted to spend my last weekend in São Paulo hanging out with a couple of my boys. It was a Friday night and I wanted to hit up the club with a good friend. The woman I was dating at the time wanted to spend the night watching movies.

Keep in mind, I was living with her at the moment so she saw me every day and every night. She taught an English class on Saturday mornings, so she had to get up early. I thought that night was the perfect time for me to hang out with my good friend before spending the rest of the weekend with her.

Long story short, I went out and when I got back the next day, she had a little attitude, but got over it.

Also, holding hands is very important, BUT also not that important. For instance, I was out one night with the same chick from the last bullet point and she wanted to hold hands. I didn’t want to hold her hand at the moment (I held it for a while and was tired).

After I declined, she caught an attitude and told me in Brazil, if you don’t want to hold a girl’s hand, it is seen as not being proud of her.

I could see where she was coming from, but I still don’t think it was a big deal. I never dealt with that in America with a woman before. And I was only dating this Brazilian chick for 3 weeks.

In contrast, one of my home girls from Rio grabbed my hand one time to show me where the restroom was at this outside party we were attending. Her grabbing my hand wasn’t a sign of her wanting me; or at least I hope not. But it’s just second nature to them.

How Significant Is Your Gringoness?

In an earlier post, I mentioned how some Brazilian women specifically look to date or entertain men from other countries. I don’t condone dating these types of women seriously, because it’s just not a genuine relationship in my opinion. Some people say all women have ulterior motives, but I think that motive can be more innocent than exploitative.

Likewise, many guys who go to Brazil are visiting with exploitative interests. I come across these type of men daily online.

Their focus is how sexy a Brazilian woman is and hardly care about other traits that make a good mate. Gringo chasers and these type of guys are a perfect match. Both are playing the same game.

But for the guys who have a genuine interest in dating normal Brazilian women, you probably want to know how your nationality affects your chances right? How will your upbringing affect the way you interact with a woman from Brazil?

Well, some Brazilian women will not date you if you speak poor Portuguese. They will be very cautious around you. They don’t want to be seen as a hooker or gold digger. You are traveling to Brazil, want to date a quality Brazilian woman, but speak no Portuguese?

Good luck.

That’s just how it is. And it makes sense. How many American women you know in the U.S. who date foreign guys who speak NO English?

Exactly.

So, like I always say: Learn enough Portuguese to have decent conversations.

Common Interests & Outlook On Life

Sharing interests/beliefs can be an issue too. If you are an educated man, you probably want a woman from the same educational background. If you are an atheist, you might not want a woman who is really religious.

One of my good friends in Brazil told me that it was difficult for him to meet educated, pro-black Brazilian women. And he lives in São Paulo!

So keep that in mind and make sure you are looking in the right places to find what you want.

It really depends on the kind of girl you are looking for. When you look at the type of women I have dated in the past and my background (black American, mid 20s, educated), we usually have the same type of interests in movies, music, hobbies and beliefs.

It isn’t difficult meeting women at all.

So the cultural shock doesn’t have to make or break your relationship. And in another earlier post titled “Avoid The Headaches Of Dating An Afro Brazilian Woman“, I wrote about a few topics that can cause tension and how to rectify the situations.

Yet, if you are from America like me, you will have strong opinions on topics such as religion, politics and race. There’s no doubt in my mind that you may have issues with one or more of these subjects if you are dating a Brazilian woman. It’s up to you to figure out how to deal with it.

what is it like dating Brazilian women

Age Differences

Latin America is kind to big age differences. In Brazil, you will see plenty of older guys in their 40s and 50s with much younger women. It’s not seen as taboo as long as both partners are of legal age.

But, I know a few women in their early to mid 20s in America who have dated men 10 to 20 years older than them too.

I think older men can date younger women in any country as long as he has his act together and can use his social status as a seasoned gentlemen to his advantage.

Different Types Of Brazilian Women

Single parenthood is on the rise in Brazil. I dated one woman in her early 20s with a child and the experience was okay. Some single mothers in Brazil are not looking for relationships. It was obvious nothing serious would come of the relations and we parted ways after a fun couple of weeks.

I haven’t dated a woman past 30 years old in Brazil, but from my observations they tend to be traditional in many aspects of their life. They will probably be set in their ways and not be as interested in American culture like younger Brazilian women, which can be a very good thing.

In America, it seems all women have an independent mentality, no matter her financial or educational status. There are these types of women in every country, but in lesser numbers.

In Brazil, you can meet women from every type of background. From the new aged, career woman to the more traditional kind. The variety is what makes dating Brazilian women unique and a sign that Brazil is still a developing country, not yet a developed one.

So, what is it like dating Brazilian women?

Not such an easy, clear-cut answer. There are many variables that play into how your relationship will turn out. 

Why Do You Want A Brazilian Girlfriend?

 You have to ask yourself this question and be totally honest. If you are completely honest about why you are interested in Brazilian women, you will find it easier to pursue one and actually have success.

For me, I wanted a Brazilian girlfriend because a. I was already in Brazil learning Portuguese and the culture, so why not experience the women on a more personal/intimate level and b. to help me learn Portuguese quicker.

I lived with a Brazilian family, but I still found Portuguese difficult and I was losing interest.

I was meeting random Brazilian women, but they weren’t girlfriend material and they were pretty busy.

Finally, I met a Brazilian woman who spoke English and she helped me improve in areas I was weak in.

Take note: my reason for being in Brazil was not primarily for the women. Yes, they are sexy and feminine and all that jazz. But that was secondary for me. I was in Brazil because I love the language and culture. Because of my true love for the culture, I met women who I connected with.

I forget who said it, but there’s a quote that goes something like “You meet the right women doing what you love.”

Signs You Should NOT Get A Brazilian Girlfriend

  • You don’t have real interest in Brazil, just the women. Trust me, the women will realize that and make sure you pay for their time. They won’t take you serious.
  • You think they are like the Brazilian women in the porn movies and Baile Funk videos. Most of them are not. You will be disappointed.
  • You think they will be submissive since they don’t have as much money as American women. Bad idea. But if you do get a Brazilian girlfriend, don’t bring her back to the states. She will leave you.
  • You are having trouble dating women in your city. Your self-esteem is probably low if you aren’t having success in your own country. My advice: build your self-esteem first before you go overseas. You will just take bad habits to Brazil and you will not have real, long-lasting success.

I really can’t say this enough, but unless you are right within yourself, you will never have success with any woman. It’s troubling seeing some guys think they can have negative thoughts about women and have long-lasting relationships with a woman.

It’s not happening.

Where To Find Your Type

Okay we have our reasons for wanting to get a Brazilian girlfriend.

And we don’t have any signs to not get one. What’s next?

We all have our preferences in women and luckily Brazil has it all.

Each region has its own flavor, so to find the right Brazilian girlfriend, you have to be in the right place.

  1. Northeast Brazil – This is a familiar region to most people. Bahia, Pernambuco, Rio Grande do Norte, etc. Northeast Brazil has a rich history of colonialism and you can see the good and bad from it. If you are interested in Brazilian women with more African ancestry, this is the region you want to visit. The most beautiful Afro-Brazilian women live in this region. This is also one of the poorer regions, so if you want an educated, Brazilian girlfriend from a middle-class background, you might find slim pickings. However, I’ve heard great things about the Northeast because it hasn’t been influenced by America and globalization like other regions in Brazil. So, if you want to experience the real Brazil and meet old school Brazilian women, head to the Northeast. The best cities are Salvador, Bahia, Recife in Pernambuco, Fortaleza, Ceará and Natal, Rio Grande do Norte.
  2. Southeast Brazil– Most famous region of & has it’s 2 biggest cities: Rio de Janeiro and São Paulo.  brazilian girlfriend 
    Other popular cities are Belo Horizonte, Minas Gerais and Vitoria, Espirito Santo. I don’t have to say too much, because most people know what to expect. This region is popular among Brazilians and they move from other regions to Rio and São Paulo for a better life. So, you can find every type of Brazilian woman here. If you are a professional type and want an educated Brazilian woman, this region is a great place to find her. I recommend São Paulo, where you will find the Brazilians most similar to Americans in regards to business. But unlike Americans, Brazilians in São Paulo know how to let their hair down and leave work in the office. Go to Rio, Sampa or Belo Horizonte to find any type of woman you want.
  3. Southern Brazil – This is the last region I will touch on. If you like Brazilian women descended from Europeans, this is where you want to go. Think of Gisele Bundchen, the wife of Tom Brady. She is technically Brazilian, but I’m sure she is 100% German. I’ve never been to this region and I only know a couple of women who live there (ironically they are black and not European descended), but from what I have heard from men who have visited, if you are a black man, you might have an uphill battle dating them. The women there seem to prefer white men. In my experience, white Brazilians who are middle-class or higher tend to only date within their race seriously. That doesn’t mean a Gisele Bundchen type would never date a black guy. It’s just rare. If you want a 100% white Brazilian, check out Curitiba, Paraná and Porto Alegre, Rio Grande do Sul.

Note: I left out a couple of regions on purpose, not because they aren’t important, but for the most part these are the main places people want to visit.

The Internet Is Not The Best Place To Meet Brazilian Women

This is obvious, but I think it still needs to be mentioned. Some guys make the mistake of only talking to Brazilian women online.

Then when they get to Brazil, they don’t even try to speak to Brazilian women due to various reasons like lack of Portuguese, shyness, etc.

Just like in the United States, it’s always better to meet women offline in Brazil.

I’m not saying not to talk to Brazilian women online before you travel. It’s a great way to make friends before you even get there. But if that’s the only way you plan on meeting women, you are making a huge mistake.

Here are a few reasons why I think the internet is only good for finding occasional lays, but not serious girlfriends.

Flakiness – Women are notorious for saying they will do something, but not do it. Brazilian women are no different.

You might talk to a Brazilian woman for 3 weeks online and on Whatsapp, but as soon as you get to Brazil, she disappears.

What happened?

She probably has a husband, boyfriend or someone she is seriously talking to. It happens to everyone, don’ sweat it.

False Advertisement – She looks fine as hell on her Brazil Cupid profile right? But when you meet her, you immediately realize she is not what she claimed to be.

This is always risk when you talk to women online.

They usually have their best photos up with all the right filters and angles.

In person, you can see what a woman is from the get go and decide if you want to pursue her.

Ulterior Motives – Online women are always up to something in my experience. It’s never just a “I’m on here to find someone to love and get to know.”

There’s something up, so you always have to be cautious and make sure YOU are controlling the situation.

You have to ask yourself why is this Brazilian woman on the internet for dating in the first place.

Majority of the Brazilian women I know are still quite traditional in their dating habits and don’t use online dating sites.

Some of them are just trying to have sex though. Enjoy that.

Discrimination – If you are a black or non-white man, you might find it difficult to keep women’s attention on a dating site.

Brazil has been socialized to worship Europeans. From my years of playing around on dating sites, white men are definitely in high demand. If you are a white guy with blonde hair and blue eyes, all you have to do is send out a simple “hi” message and you are in.

You lucky bastards.

But hey, I don’t hate or complain and you shouldn’t either if you are non-white. It’s a gift and a curse, because there are definitely downsides to being white in Brazil.

If you still decide to meet Brazilian women on a dating site, you just have to have an efficient strategy to weed out the time wasters. I write more about how to meet Brazilian women online in How To Master Online Dating With Brazilian Women. Check it out.

Times are changing and more people are meeting potential lovers online. But if you want to pick the right Brazilian girlfriend, it is still better to skip the internet.

The best Brazilian women will NOT be on a dating website and you want the best right?

The 1 Question You Should Ask A Brazilian Woman

I see guys dating Brazilian women who obviously have ulterior motives all the time. Okay, let me clarify.

All women have ulterior motives to an extent.

Every woman wants a man who is financially stable and can handle business. Basically, it’s a woman’s instinct to want a man who will get shit done.

And I don’t see anything wrong with that. Women love men who get stuff done and they want to STAY with those men.

Then, you have women who are blatantly using a man for his resources temporarily until she no longer has any use for him and she moves on.

This is the type of woman you should avoid; there are women like this in Brazil.

To pick the right Brazilian girlfriend you need to be able to identify the signs of whether she is into you for you or for what you seem to have. It should be common sense to NEVER tell a woman how much you are worth or how much money you make. If you are dumb enough to share that information, then you deserve to get milked.

The 1 Question

I have found that one, simple question will tell you a lot about a Brazilian woman’s motives. A lot of guys are worried about whether they should bring a Brazilian woman to the United States.

Will she leave me as soon as we get to the country?

Does she really want to be with me or is she just using me to get to America?

Will America change her?

All of these are valid questions for the naive. But you should not be naive anymore after reading this post.

None of those questions should ever pop up in your head again after you ask your Brazilian girlfriend this one question.

Do you want to live in America?

It’s that simple. It’s basic. And it doesn’t have an OBVIOUS answer like you think.

There’s a common belief that everyone in the world wants to live in America. This isn’t true. Many foreigners have no interest in living in America and would feel out-of-place and depressed there.

I’ve met many Brazilian women who have no interest in living in America. Do they want to visit? Sure. They want to see Los Angeles and New York City. But they don’t want to live there forever or anything. Why?

Their whole family is in Brazil. I know plenty of men who won’t leave their city or state because they don’t want to live too far away from their mom or grandmother. How do you think the average woman feels?

Many Brazilian women don’t speak English. How would they survive in America?

The best Brazilian women I’ve met have no real interest in living in America and will tell you they want to stay in Brazil.

Alright Shad, but my Brazilian girlfriend said she wants to move to America with me, should I dump her?

Short answer: You probably should.

If she speaks English, you really should. If she is the one who brought up the topic to move to America, you definitely should.

I don’t care about the exceptions. If you want to get played, then take a Brazilian woman overseas. That’s on you.

NOTE: None of this applies to Brazilian women you meet in America by the way. If you meet a woman from Brazil in America and choose to date her, you have nothing to lose except maybe time. But don’t be surprised if she reminds you more of an American woman than a Brazilian.

Don’t Date The Leftovers

What do you do with leftovers?

You save them for the next day since you don’t feel like cooking. You might give them to your pet. If it’s too old or you just don’t have a taste for it, you throw leftovers in the GARBAGE.

If I offend anyone, oh well.

What are leftovers? The leftovers are the least desirable in the dating pool. For example, a man with felonies working at McDonald’s is not filet mignon to 95% of women.

And the women who would date this man are leftovers themselves, so I find it funny when guys complain about women who want a jail-bird. If you looked at her more closely, you will see she is not a quality woman.

The leftovers in women are usually the fat ones, the ugly ones, the single ones with multiple children and the ignorant ones.

These leftovers can be found in Brazil just like they are found in America or the UK. And you should NEVER seriously date them.

When I say don’t date the leftovers, I don’t mean don’t hang out with them. They can be fun to hang out with (maybe not the fat ones, but some guys like that) and they can introduce you to more desirable women hopefully.

You could even have sex with them if you want to, but just know you should not take it past that. In Brazil, a lot of single mothers seem to only want to have fun. Some of them consciously know they are not at the top of the dating list anymore and their preferences/standards are different from Brazilian women with no children.

But I have noticed a troubling trend among gringos, especially black men.

Gringos are dating the leftovers.

What is the point of dating a foreign woman if you aren’t going to date higher than what you can do in your country? I am seeing gringos date fat, ugly and old-looking Brazilian women. This has to be stopped.

As I mentioned earlier, many Brazilian women seem to value white, European men. I see a lot of European men with fine, young-looking Brazilian women. Especially black Brazilian women.

I know these guys are spending money and doing things I don’t condone, but it still doesn’t give an excuse to black men to date lesser Brazilian women.

I implore all men to either raise your standards or keep them high if you plan on dating in Brazil. There is no reason to date a single mother there. There is no reason to date a woman who isn’t in shape. There are plenty of good-looking, in shape Brazilian women who will treat you well just like the ugly ones.

No excuses.

The Checklist To Picking The Right One

Alright, we are at the finish line. We are all different men and want specific things in a woman that another man might not want. So I’m going to keep this checklist fairly broad and open for customization.

Besides a career, who a man chooses to make his long-term girlfriend, wife or mother of his children is the MOST important choice he will ever make.

Let’s make the right choice guys.

10 Laws To Picking The Right Brazilian Girlfriend

1.Does she understand what you are looking for?

This is very important and you should be completely honest with her about what you are looking for. If you are looking for some fun and nothing serious, let her know that from the jump.

If you are looking for a more serious girlfriend, tell her that during the courting phase. Brazilian women can get ANGRY if they feel they have been led on, so let her know what you want from her.

Also, she might not want exactly what you want. It’s best to know that before too much time is wasted.

2. Is she your exact type?

She definitely should be. If you want an educated, Brazilian woman, but you have met an uneducated Brazilian woman who is obsessed with you in Bahia, you are just wasting time.

You will never be happy because you will see so many educated Brazilian women you would rather date.

It will eat you up inside.

It is very important to date your preference. Stick to what you want. Head to Rio or Sao Paulo and get you a professional woman.

3. Never tell her how much you make

Don’t be a dumb ass.

Keep your net worth/salary to yourself. All she needs to know is that you are financially stable and she will see that based on your lifestyle.

There are plenty of women who will use you in Brazil if you give them the opportunity. If you get used, it’s probably because you asked for it.

The right Brazilian girlfriend will respect your decision to not tell her how much you make and just be happy you chose her.

4. Avoid the leftovers

You should not be dating the undesirables in your own country, let alone in another country. Have some self-respect.

If you are an older man with children, then I can give you a pass if you decide to date a Brazilian woman with children.

But if you are young and/or childless, you shouldn’t be dating ugly, fat or ignorant Brazilian women. You are disrespecting yourself if you think you will choose the right Brazilian girlfriend going that route.

She going to look at you and think to herself: I can’t believe this fool chose me out of all these beautiful women here.

5. She should not want to move to America

I hope you aren’t planning to move back to America with her. You are going to take a L.

She should have no real desire to leave Brazil. Her family should be the most important thing to her like any other normal, Brazilian woman.

If she can pack her bags, leave her family and jet to America that fast, just think about how easy she would leave you?

6. She should speak no English

The best Brazilian girlfriends don’t speak English at all.

Language changes people’s perception of reality and life. I know I’ve changed since learning Brazilian Portuguese. Fortunately, it’s been for the best.

I’ve noticed a difference between foreigners who speak English versus the one’s who don’t. You should try to date Brazilian women who don’t know any English or just a bit.

That means you need to learn Portuguese.

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7. She should not be from the Internet

If this is a serious girlfriend, you should have met her from your daily life.

I understand everything is on the internet now, so this law is flexible. I’ve dated women I’ve met on the Internet in the past and it was great.

But I can’t say they were the right women for me.

You meet the right women doing what you love. If you love surfing the web, you can ignore this law.

8. She should have never dated another gringo

This should be one of the first questions you ask her when you meet.

She might lie, so it’s better to ask her this in person so you can study her face. I would be cautious around Brazilian women who have dated other foreign men.

It is a pattern that might show she is looking for a meal ticket.

It’s always better to meet a Brazilian woman who isn’t looking for a foreign man. “It just happened” should be what she tells her girlfriends.

I met a Brazilian woman who only seemed to date gringos. We had a fun time and it ended. After me, she dated another gringo.

9. She should be of quality outside of her body

You have to have standards, even in a so-called 3rd world country.

Don’t go down to Brazil and exploit poor women. She will probably end up exploiting you in the long-run.

The right Brazilian woman will have her own stuff. At least a job, but preferably a career or be in school. Trust me, you don’t want to date a dumb, Brazilian woman seriously.

She should have some type of intelligence, whether that is knowing how to get down in the kitchen and around the house or showing you the cultural landmarks around her city.

She should be bringing something else to the table besides her physical attributes.

10. She should follow your lead

She can have her own career or hobbies. She can love her family and friends. But if you tell her you are taking a job in another Brazilian city, she should be ready to go.

The right Brazilian girlfriend will follow your lead.

You should not be more accommodating to her wishes. I don’t care if she wants you to do this or that, if you don’t want to do it then don’t.

I see too many guys online telling stories of a Brazilian woman telling them to do something and they don’t know what to do. I have the answer guys.

Don’t do it. Be a man. Be selfish.

For more information about dating in Brazil, check out these additional posts: